It is an age-old preoccupation of Man to ask the question, “Why am I here?” and search for meaning and purpose. Many years ago, I added two words to this question, and it is a rather nice mantra, especially in awkward or unexpected encounters:
“Why am I here for you…?”
Much modern thinking focuses on the ‘universe’ providing for us (which I believe is true) but it is all about ASKING, not giving. What if you altered your perspective just a wee bit and pondered what you can do for all those people around you? Just a simple smile, a kind word, a charitable deed… do you think, little by little, we might all be able to make this a wonderful place to live and co-create in…?
“Balls-deep in Paradise.” coming later this Summer… a sneak peek…
I think this first draft introduction to the new work says it all… it’s a really tough piece to write, and I am so honored and thankful to have all of you as supporters and FRIENDS cheering me on in the background – don’t worry, I’ve changed the names to protect the guilty…!
Introduction: MY Secondary School English teacher, William R. Malyszko (just to give him credit!), once told me, “Write what you know.” How could he possibly have gleaned from the vacation story writing assignment for which I submitted THREE NOTEBOOKS – instead of the asked for three pages – that I had a passion for writing? The aforementioned comment and the ‘F’ rating of my assignment (thankfully) didn’t diminish my passion for the written word. It could have done, however, and it pains me that people of leadership/ role models abuse (or don’t acknowledge) the power they have. Thankfully, far from perturbing me from writing, it planted an unconscious seed in me instead (something teachers and other folks of influence are all too often unaware of) it pushed me further into the realm of seeking exciting experiences to write about. As the ‘experiencer’ (made-up-word – hopefully!) of my life, even though I have been a CEO, an actor, a freelance writer, a world traveler, and a hobo, I never really thought of it as exciting, adventurous, or even entertaining. How many of us actually reflect back upon our lives and think they were of any real significance? People say we all have at least ONE book inside us, but who truly believes their life is worth writing about? Even the celebrities bow down to PR-heads that tell them their fans are dying to read something, but they never – rarely – write the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, as is read in later memoirs lamenting the fact, and admitting their slavery.
This, therefore, is the book I’ve always wanted to write, but never felt was interesting enough to dilute my time to writing. I am writing about what I know, but I think it is dull and boring – thank heavens others don’t feel the same way. To them, I have led a precarious, fascinating, adventurous, nefarious, and down-right naughty existence. I cannot cast judgement on that, I lived the life I was born into – I think I played the hand I was dealt rather well – and I learned some tricks along the way. I know I broke hearts, I had my heart broken. I know I’m not a saint, but I’m not going to Hell either (I don’t believe in that! Which I guess helps…?!) Unlike many of my other published works, this is very current. It is set in 2014, the time of my first trip to Costa Rica, a mesmerizing and enchanting country for which I have nothing but praise and admiration – especially for their performance in the World Cup! I won’t pass comment about England. As you will read in this book – if you, hopefully, read more than this meager introduction, I was sexually abused as a very young child, I became a struggling, young entrepreneur, I dabbled in the quagmire of ‘sexual identity’, I was that typical ‘almost-ran’ who could have been anything, yet choose to be nothing, I loved, I lost, I married, I divorced, I traveled, and went from riches to rags… Boring, I know, but somewhere along the way I lost myself (or who I thought I was) found myself, lost myself, and found something much greater… Do yourself a favor, don’t read this book. Unless your life is totally in the toilet, or you are lost, or you just have sympathy with a fellow human being… What am I saying? Please buy this book, put it in your toilet for friends to read when they are constipated – it might make them laugh so much they’ll shit (can you say shit? Not a made-up-word!) I always had the dream of writing a self-help book that was as entertaining as a novel, I never dreamed I would have to actually LIVE that life to make it come true. Well, this is it… part memoir, part fiction (most of it, I assure you!) This is what it is – how I view my life right now: this is who I am, I have nothing to hide. Attack me, if you will. Praise me, if you will. My ‘Henry the Egg’ artwork sums up my life. I hope you enjoy this story, or at the very least your friends have some humor whilst they work our their shit in your toilet…
When you find that which is unchanging and unchangeable, have you found the source?
I don’t know, but it always puzzles me when I meet people adverse to change – especially older people – as, just from a molecular point of view, we regenerate all the time. Our cells are constantly dying and rebirthing. We are surrounded by change. Embrace it, it is as certain as Death.
If you want one thing to move forward with, because everything is in constant change, you can always start afresh…