#FREE #COMPETITION #WIN #BIG #PRIZES

It’s competition time! Watch the video below to see how you can enter ‘Tone Def Tony’s Big Prize Giveaway’:

Enter now for your chance to win loads of exclusive and collectable prizes, including original oil paintings, limited edition signed books, merchandise, and much, much more.

SAGE: A Better Acronym For The ‘Scariant’-Age

With all the talk in the media now about changes to our ‘promised’ freedom in June, as we are once more being ravaged by a new ‘Scariant’ – I mean, VARIANT – to which actual scientific experts (the mostly silenced ones!) all agree is no more worrisome than the original strain, and just like FLU (another coronavirus!) will continue to change and adapt and have many, many more ‘Scariants’, I ask the question, “Just WHO are these people behind SAGE…?”

WHO Is Behind SAGE…?

To be totally honest, prior to this ‘panic-demic’, even though I had heard of Wuhan, China, as I have traveled through it, I’d never heard of SAGE (Scientific Advisory Group for Emergencies). I also never knew that an UN-ELECTED panel of people could wield so much power over a (so-called) democratic society, and based on their ‘expertise’ create so much chaos, fear, and damage. When I did hear about it, since I come from a marketing background, my first thought was that it was a very clever acronym, as it implies wisdom without there necessarily being any – it is merely assumed from the title! A very clever marketing and PR trick, if you will. I’ve therefore come up with my own interpretation of what SAGE means from my meager vantage point:

SAGE

Please feel free to use the above jpeg, if you agree with my sentiments, and share it around. I’m rather proud that I managed to create it with my very limited knowledge of computer technology!

Who Picked These Experts?

I’m a very simple man, and a bit dim at that, but I do ask a lot of questions, and the past 15 months or so have sent questions swirling around my head like never before. Firstly, I was amazed that the world reacted as it did, based on the information that has been shared with the public. What information did they get that we still haven’t gotten that made them panic so much, and send terror into the hearts and households of the country I love? They’ve never done it before. We had MERS, and SARS, and WWII bombings… what on Earth was different now? But all of those questions took second place to who this panel of experts were that were calling the shots and causing all this panic, mayhem and disorder?

As said, they are not elected like our politicians (not that that makes much difference!) so, who picks them? Obviously they SHOULD BE experts in their fields SPECIFIC to the emergency at hand, right? Not in this case, it would appear. Why were so many ACTUAL experts overlooked? Or were they just silenced for fear of losing their funding from Big Pharma, or bad press at their universities? Surely the person that picked them must by default be a BETTER EXPERT for being able to pick them, yes?

Survival Of The Fittest!

This wasn’t meant to be an essay, and I hate long, drawn out posts, all I wanted to do was share my new acronym. Personally, I think the damage is done, and worse it yet to come through the fall-out of cancer patients waiting for treatment, those suffering from isolation and lack of contact with loved-ones, and let’s not forget the tsunamic, Titantic-iceberg-like economic crash that is heading our way very, very soon. People die all the time, and only a tiny percentage of ‘extra’ mortalities have happened during this panic, so people, let’s get real: there are MUCH bigger issues to deal with, and we HAVE TO take back control of our lives and get on with living again…!

#FREE Books For My Birthday Weekend!

That’s right, those of you that know me well, know I tend to give away my books for my birthday each year as my presents to you. So, since I have my latest children’s book out there this month, “Michael and the Magic Hiccup” I’ve decided to give you the chance to download, read, and share the Kindle version of it for free from March 25 until 29 over my birthday weekend.

Click on the book cover below to take you to the Amazon page to download your free copy, and please share the word. All I ask in return, is give it a star rating and a short review when you get the chance:

Michael and the Magic Hiccup(4)

Naturally, if you like the Kindle version and want a hard copy, it’s also available in paperback on the same page. If you like the illustrations and want to colour them in, click on this link to download a pdf of all 22 black and white pictures in the book.

#FREE Colouring Sheets for Children

Everybody loves colouring sheets, don’t they? Well, since I’ve finished and published my latest children’s book, Michael and the Magic Hiccup (available to buy now by clicking the link) I’ve decided to let you see all the artwork within the book as a pdf so you can have fun colouring the pictures in!

22 Free Colouring Sheets!

Here’s the pdf link to download all twenty-two black and white illustrations from my latest children’s book:

Michael Colouring Pages

Michael and the Magic Hiccup – Reading

The proof of my new book, Michael and the Magic Hiccup, has arrived, so I thought I’d give you a sneak peek and read you the first part of the story and you can hear the entertaining voices I’ve added to the characters. Have a watch of this video as I give you a sneak peek:

Pre-order On Amazon

Michael and the Magic Hiccup is available to pre-order on Amazon in ebook format. Pre-order your copy here.

Michael and the Magic Hiccup – The Illustrations

For the longest time I’ve wanted to illustrate my children’s books, but never really thought I had the talent to do so myself. However, during the lockdowns last year I began painting again, and was rather surprised at the results. That’s why when Boris and his clowns announced this latest house arrest, I thought I’d dig out an old fairy-tale I wrote back in my twenties and attempt to draw some artwork to accompany the story.

22 Illustrations Later…

It helped knowing the characters inside and out, and having already recorded all of their voices for a reading I did twenty-something years ago. I have to say, it was jolly good fun. Here’s one I’m most proud of…

The Princess’s Birthday Party

Part Two Coming Soon

Stay tuned for the second sample of the story – with some more illustrations. I’m awaiting my proof from the printers, and hope to publish the hard copy of Michael and the Magic Hiccup some time in March. Pre-order your Kindle copy here: pre-order page.

Michael and the Magic Hiccup – Sample One

New Children’s Book Coming Spring 2021

Here’s the first part of a new children’s story I’ll be releasing later this year. Subscribe to my blog to stay up-to-date on the release date. I’ll be uploading the next section and some more pictures later this month, and hope to have the final version ready for mid-March. I hope you enjoy it, and if you do, please let me know in the comments below. If you’d like, why not print off the first picture and colour it in – I’ll love to see how it looks once you’re finished.

The Adventure Begins…

Michael was bored. He was always bored. Today, more than ever, he was especially bored. It had been raining constantly for over a week now. Not just the normal, drizzly rain, but that cold, grey rain that made everything look even more dull and boring. Nothing exciting ever happened when it rained, in fact the only thing that happened when it rained like this was that things got wet, very, very wet. That was exactly what was happening to Michael, because Michael was a garden gnome, a very wet and very bored garden gnome.

If he’d had a choice in the matter, he would much rather have been a knight, or an explorer, or an adventurous snail, or anything else for that matter, as long as it wasn’t a garden gnome. But he didn’t have a choice, so there he was, Michael, the garden gnome, stood in the front garden of Mr and Mrs Poops, very wet, and very bored. Year after year he stood there alone in his silly red hat, bright green tunic, dark blue trousers, black rubber wellington boots and, not forgetting, his very stupid fishing rod with the plastic goldfish dangling boringly from his fishing line. About the most exciting thing that ever happened to him was Mr and Mrs Poops’ Ginger Tom that would come and sniff at him every once in a while. It really was a boring life being a garden gnome.

The old couple weren’t so bad. Mr Poops had long since retired as the town’s local bank manager, and spent most of his time tinkering in the garden or in his potting shed. Mrs Poops, who Michael thought must be going a little mad, spent most of her time stroking her ginger cat, or stranger still, talking to it! As if a cat could understand what she was talking about. Mr Poops had long since stopped paying attention to his wife, choosing instead to talk to his favourite garden ornament.

Michael really was getting fed up of standing there in the pouring rain. He hadn’t seen anyone for days now. Not even the Ginger Tom had come out to have a sniff at him. He hadn’t even seen the postman come up the pathway to deliver their daily mail. If it didn’t stop raining soon, Michael thought he would have to do something rather drastic. He didn’t know what that would be, but he had a great deal of time to think about what he might do. Most of all he longed for some kind of adventure.

Michael was bored, wet, cold, and tired. Having been out in the cold rain for so long, the stupid goldfish had filled with water, which made his arms ache from holding the heavy fishing rod. Worst of all, Michael could feel himself coming down with a cold! He felt like just throwing down the rod and running away. Just then he felt a strong need to sneeze:

“Ha- Ha- Ha…”

Oh, he hated that, when you could feel a sneeze coming, but it didn’t!

“Ha- Ha- Ha – HICCUP!”

Michael couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t sneezed, but hiccupped! What was all that about? How very strange. Had he been out in the cold too long that his mind was playing tricks on him? Even the silly goldfish looked surprised that he hadn’t sneezed. Then he got the feeling again:

To Be Continued…

The story doesn’t end there, it’s only just begun. Stay tuned for the next section, which I’ll be posting up later this month. Let me know in the comments section what you think about it so far. Pre-order your copy here.

What the ‘Cluck!’ is this advert all about…?

As the wishy-washy, left-wing, mamby-pamby liberals flock to break the COVID-19 self-distancing laws to protest the death of ONE black person – as opposed to protesting about ALL the black people that die EVERY SINGLE DAY in Africa (those ‘Black Lives’ obviously don’t matter!) from dictators and REAL diseases like Tuberculosis, Cholera, Typhoid, etc., I thought I’d post something a little more humourous and entertaining for those still complying with the regulations to actually help stop the spread of this ‘plague’ and save lives…

 

An advert for beer…!

COVID-19: An Elaborate Plan To Shut Up Greta Thunberg…?

As the madness of the panic-demic of SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19 to the uninitiated) ebbs away – albeit far too slowly for my liking – and countries around the world (hurrying to bury the millions of bodies that were supposed to die from this new ‘plague’ but didn’t!) ease their lockdown strategies, one question has to be asked…

Cabbage Patch Thunberg
Greta Thunberg

Was this just an elaborate plan to shut up the ‘Cabbage Patch Doll Environmentalist’?

cabbage patch doll
Cabbage Patch Doll

I mean, even though global governments united to back her crazy ‘school strike’ plan by shutting all the schools and making children stay at home for months, we haven’t heard much from her during this lockdown, and governments (or the media propaganda machine!) haven’t really said much about ‘Climate Change’ – or anything else for that matter – which could actually influence the lives of BILLIONS of people on this planet, not just a handful.

As national economies crash around our ears – and let’s face it, that’s really all most people really care about – and we see governments open up their ‘tax-payer-backed’ cheque books and write blanks cheques for this panic-demic bail-out fiasco, another question has to be asked…

“Why couldn’t they spend TRILLIONS of dollars saving the planet and

SAVE billions of lives?”

I leave the discussion and possible answers up to you… I just think Greta does have a striking resemblance to a Cabbage Patch doll. You be the judge and jury: Continued COVID-19 Madness, dwindling human rights, and an on-going global recession, OR Cabbage Patch Environmentalism? Either way, it doesn’t really matter now, as global governments have spent all your money (IF you actually pay taxes – Amazon, a-hem!)  and don’t have anything left to save endangered animal species, the planet, only their careers, it would seem!