I’m not sure that procrastination is the opposite of impatience, but there is a lush green meadow between the two where the sun is constantly warm and the time is always right. I’m an impatient person, and an impatient writer, I openly admit that. I guess that’s why I love blogging! It allows immediate release of that creative urge. But I only blog when the time is right. That said, I have just published two books – almost back-to-back – one after 32 years, and the other after 19 years. So what does that tell you about me?
Like many writers, I wanted to have them published as soon as I finished writing them. I thought they were ready for the world and the world was ready for them! However, I have also been told I am a writer ahead of my time. As I grew up, I was constantly being compared to writers of the past: CS Lewis, Shakespeare, Beckett… Flattering as that may have been, it didn’t curb my impatience! I wanted the world to hear me NOW!
But nobody was listening.
We live in a deafeningly silent world. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of noise, an awful lot of noise, AWFUL NOISE, but nothing is really being said. Everybody is screaming, “Listen to me! Listen to me!” but when they get the mike, what do they actually say?
“I Want It ALL And I want It NOW!”
Okay, you’ve got it. What do you want? They don’t know. It’s like lottery winners that lose it all within a few years, and all their friends, and all their happiness, and… They can’t ever go back to how it was before.
What is it you want? And what is your impatience? What do you lack now that makes you want it so badly? If you think you ‘deserve’ it, can you justify that? When you have two ears, two eyes, and only one mouth, what makes you use them disproportionately? Do you really have something to say?
I don’t write to feel good about myself. I don’t write to pass the time. I don’t write to become somebody. I write because I am a vessel. I take no credit for what I write, it just flows through me. I started ‘channeling’ when I was an early teenager. I called them my ‘writing guides’. They would talk and I would write. I’m not religious, in fact I rate religion right up there with tattoos! Graffiti your body as you wish, and graffiti your mind at your peril.
So What Does This Have To Do With Impatience?
Why the rush? If you’re writing to make money, most likely it won’t happen. If you’re writing to share the latest, greatest thing, they most likely already know. In fact, if you are doing anything that isn’t getting you in touch with who you REALLY are, you’ve missed the whole point of being alive in the first place (assuming you ARE actually alive!)
Urgency… Immediacy… Imperativeness… Really? When was the last time you actually stopped and thought about your breathing? And while you think about that, when was the last time you stopped and THOUGHT? We are all so caught up in the ‘machine’ of life we barely give a breath or thought to the world and the life around us.
You want me to notice you, but how much time do you give to noticing me? Or for that matter noticing yourself?
One day there will be an ‘app’ for that.