My FREE BOOK weekend was a big success, so thank you to all of you that partook. I hope you find it useful in getting a great start to 2019. However, some people who have read my book, “My First Goal-Setting Book”, have written to me asking about overcoming fear, so I thought I’d tackle this subject in a blog post.
I deliberately left this out of the book, as it is aimed at people that already have dreams and goals in mind, and have already overcome the hurdle of inactivity due to fear, but I’ll cover it simply below.
Many of you may have heard of the acronym for fear:
The first thing to know about fear is that it’s natural. Everybody at some time in their lives (yes, even me!) experiences fear. Now, just so we are all on the same page here, when I talk about fear in this context I’m not relating to phobias nor situations of mortal danger, I’m referring to negative mental games we play with ourselves that stop us acting on our goals and dreams. You may be surprised to know that fear is the major reason the vast majority of people never even TRY to do anything new or different in their lives!
So, if we all experience fear, how come some people allow it to stop them, and others deal with it and get on with life?
Even successful people feel fear from time to time, the difference is they have developed systems to combat that fear and move through it. I’m going to highlight a few basic techniques you can use to overcome most of your fears.
1. Write It Down!
Most of our fears are ‘mental demons’, they live in our heads, we try to hide them, certainly never talking about them, and the more we feed our fears with attention, the more our imaginations run wild. Take a few moments to write down EXACTLY what it is you think you are scared of. Often times just the exercise of really thinking about it ON PAPER is enough to put it in perspective.
2. Action ALWAYS Cures Fear!
The next time you feel fear, shorten the time between feeling scared and actually acting on it. As said, most fears are not real, they are mental monsters, and the longer we sit on them without acting, the bigger they become. Perhaps you have a phone call to make, but you are scared of how it will go, rather than dwell on it, just pick up the phone and make the call. Perhaps you want to ask someone out on a date, why wait until someone else asks them out, just go for it!
3. Play It In Reverse.
This is the one that I find most useful in my life. Whatever it is I’m procrastinating about or scared of doing – usually those awkward phone calls! – I write down what I’m scared of, then I picture the outcome I want, I really get in touch with how I FEEL after I’ve made that call. I play the scene backwards with that feeling. Only when I feel totally calm and comfortable do I make that call. You know what, over 90% of the time the call goes exactly as I imagined it.
Obviously there’s not enough space in one blog to fully cover this topic – there are hundred of books on the subject, if you wish to find out more – but these are just some of the tricks that I use and work for me. As with most new things, it’s going to take some time and practice, but of all the things you can learn in life, getting a grip on your fears will be one of the best things you did.
I’d love to hear how you get on, so just drop me some of your experiences in the comments section below.
Anthony James Donnelly is an author, motivational and business coach, and life guide. He has spent over 20 years working directly with individuals and corporations to adjust their perspectives on life. In his latest book, “My First Goal-Setting Book: How To Effectively Set & Achieve Your Life Goals”, he concisely explains how to get whatever you want out of life.